This is a normal part of life. If we examined our lives, we'd probably find that we experience the same old conflicts again and again. The subject matter may change, but patterns remain the same. One might get hurt while the other seems unaffected. One may think the matter trivial while the other bends over backward trying to please.
We all have crazy patterns. We need to break the bad patterns and find new habits that will improve our relationships.
Unhappy people major on arguing their own agenda and winning the fight. Happy people negotiate and are prepared to hear the other's thoughts and opinion.
It takes two to keep a fight going and only one to stop it and start the problem solving.
Aim at being the one that really listens without preparing a retort in advance. Aim at asking more questions to bring clarity to the situation.
Negotiate and determine to win the relationship rather than determining to win the fight.